We were married in the chapel of Camp Mokule'ia, the site of many camping trips and ocean adventures from Laurel's childhood. The setting was an essential part of the ceremony: we wanted to feel the embrace of not just our families and friends, but also the natural world. In the Hawaiian language, "Mokule'ia" means "place of abundance"--and that it certainly is!
The Four Directions
As part of our ceremony, we wanted to share four readings organized around the four cardinal directions. As we experienced each reading, we all faced in one of the directions, then turned to the next. Honoring the directions is an age-old practice, based upon wisdom traditions from various cultures throughout the world. Each turn reminded us of the passing of a season, of the way lives and relationships change and renew constantly: South (read by our nephew Joel) is summer and childhood; west (read by our friend Kyra) is fall and adolescence; north (read by Alex's mom Zarife) is winter and adulthood; and east (read by our nephew Nathan) is spring, old age, the transformation of death and rebirth. We also hoped the four directions brought us into the awareness that a new family gathered from many places to celebrate our union.
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South
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West
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North
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East
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Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him-a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him-a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
A Dharma Reading by Thich Nhat Hanh
The Buddha spoke about four elements that constitute true love: the capacity to be kind and offer happiness, maitri in Sanskrit, compassion, the capacity to relieve suffering, karuna; the capacity to bring joy every day, mudita; and finally, the capacity of nondiscrimination, upeksha. When there is true love, there is nondiscrimination. The pain of the other is our own pain; the happiness of the other is our own happiness...To make our love meaningful, we need to nourish our bodhicitta, our mind of boundless love and compassion...First, we learn to love one person with all our understanding and insight; then we expand that love to embrace another person, and another, until our love is truly boundless.
The Buddha spoke about four elements that constitute true love: the capacity to be kind and offer happiness, maitri in Sanskrit, compassion, the capacity to relieve suffering, karuna; the capacity to bring joy every day, mudita; and finally, the capacity of nondiscrimination, upeksha. When there is true love, there is nondiscrimination. The pain of the other is our own pain; the happiness of the other is our own happiness...To make our love meaningful, we need to nourish our bodhicitta, our mind of boundless love and compassion...First, we learn to love one person with all our understanding and insight; then we expand that love to embrace another person, and another, until our love is truly boundless.
On Marriage (In Spanish) by Khalil Gibran
Estaréis juntos cuando las blancas alas de la muerte esparzan vuestros días.
Nacisteis juntos y juntos permaneceréis para siempre.
Sí: estaréis juntos en la memoria silenciosa de Dios.
Pero dejad que haya espacios en vuestra cercanía,
y dejad que los vientos del cielo dancen entre vosotros.
Amaos uno a otro, pero no hagáis del amor una atadura.
Haced del amor un mar móvil entre las orillas de vuestras almas.
Llenaos uno al otro vuestras copas, pero no bebáis de una misma copa.
Cantad y bailad juntos y estad alegres, pero que cada uno de vosotros sea
Las cuerdas de un laúd están separadas, aunque tiemblen con la misma música.
Dad vuestro corazón, pero no para que vuestro compañero se adueñe de él.
Porque sólo la mano de la Vida puede contener los corazones.
Porque los pilares sostienen el templo, pero están separados.
Y ni el roble crece bajo la sombra del ciprés ni el ciprés bajo la del roble.
Compartid vuestro pan, pero no comáis del mismo trozo independiente.
Y permaneced juntos, pero no demasiado juntos.
Estaréis juntos cuando las blancas alas de la muerte esparzan vuestros días.
Nacisteis juntos y juntos permaneceréis para siempre.
Sí: estaréis juntos en la memoria silenciosa de Dios.
Pero dejad que haya espacios en vuestra cercanía,
y dejad que los vientos del cielo dancen entre vosotros.
Amaos uno a otro, pero no hagáis del amor una atadura.
Haced del amor un mar móvil entre las orillas de vuestras almas.
Llenaos uno al otro vuestras copas, pero no bebáis de una misma copa.
Cantad y bailad juntos y estad alegres, pero que cada uno de vosotros sea
Las cuerdas de un laúd están separadas, aunque tiemblen con la misma música.
Dad vuestro corazón, pero no para que vuestro compañero se adueñe de él.
Porque sólo la mano de la Vida puede contener los corazones.
Porque los pilares sostienen el templo, pero están separados.
Y ni el roble crece bajo la sombra del ciprés ni el ciprés bajo la del roble.
Compartid vuestro pan, pero no comáis del mismo trozo independiente.
Y permaneced juntos, pero no demasiado juntos.
On Marriage by Khalil Gibran
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.